Wilhelmina Slater gets Roasted!
by britt1915
Summary: Wille's birthday is approaching and Marc has organized a roast for Wilhelmina. There will be some toasting and definitely some roasting. In honor of Vdub's Bday
1. Let the Roasting Begin

Title:Wilhelmina gets Roasted

Rating: K+

Disclamer: I do not own any of the UB characters and if I did they would have a 5th season

This is my first UB story so no bashing please but I will allow positive criticisms though. So please enjoy

* * *

"Willie, it's time for you to get roasted" said Marc as he walked towards her desk.

Wilhelmina was on her laptop before she heard Marc and immediately closed it and stared at him.

"What"

"Marc, I told you that I don't want anyone roasting me especially Claire. I also don't want them to know that my birthday is approaching."

"Willie, it's not like they know how old you are anyway but that doesn't matter because it's just harmless fun. As a bonus you can make the people's lives even worse when you hear what they say about you."

Marc begins to pout and makes puppy dog eyes at Willie as soon as he finishes. Wilhelmina heaves a heavy sigh and reluctantly says "Fine".

As soon as she said that Marc begins to yammer about how much fun this will be and can't wait to begin the roasting.

"Oh and Marc, if anything comes out of your mouth that I don't like I will make sure that your life will never have anything to do with Mode or Meade ever again."

Marc gulpes and leads Wilhelmina through the tube and into the conference room.

The regular circular table has been replaced with chairs. There is a big couch in the front of the room where Wilhelmina was directed to sit by Marc. Next to her are a mic and a podium where people will roast her.

"Marc, where is everybody. I'm not going to sit here forever, you know."

"They should be trickling in, Willie" he replied.

As he said this Betty, Amanda, Claire, and Daniel walked into the room.

"Where is everybody?" asks Betty

"I guess everyone is afraid that they will get fired if they roast Wilhelmina. But don't worry over the years I wrote down what I hated about her and now I finally get to say it without getting any back talk." replied Claire.

"Oh shut up Claire, the last time you had a roast was over a campfire and if you ever decide to have another one I would gladly come and truly say what I think about you." says Willie.

"Mom save the roasting until it's your turn and Wilhelmina save your roasting for next year" said Daniel

As Marc walked up to the mike he saw Willie smiling and Claire glaring at Daniel. He taps on the mike to get everyone's attention

"Now if you can all take your seats. We are here to celebrate the…

"Marc" warned Willie

"…the uh greatness of Wilhelmina Slater". After saying this Claire snorted but he continued speaking. " Some years ago who we now know as the brilliant Wilhelmina Slater was born to us in the form of a baby who grew up to be the lovely person we know today."

"In honor of celebrating the Wilhelmina Slater, we will be having a roast of Wilhelmina Slater. You guys know the rules have fun but not too much fun.


	2. Marc

"I will be starting off today's roasting" declared Marc.

"But I wanted to go first." whined Claire.

"Claire, shut up it's my roast and I want Marc to go first since he's my favorite person here."

"Thank you. I have known Willie for a long time and I basically know almost everything about her.

She cared for her daughter even though Nico betrayed her and probably ruined the thing they call a relationship. And yes she does have a heart buried deep down in her beautiful self; she loved Connor even though he stole all our money and betrayed her trust."

"Working for Willie has been fun. And even though she asks for ridiculous demands I would do them to make her happy. Seeing her happy makes me happy and that's all I want for her.

Marc pauses for a minute and sees Betty trying not to cry and is revealed to see that Willie is not furious.

"She has been through a lot in her lifetime and can get through anything that comes her way. She is probably the best editor I have ever seen and I know that no one can compete with her in anything. Even though she doesn't admit that she cares for me, I think she does and I'm glad that I've had the chance to be her assistant throughout the years."

Marc turns and looks at Willie and says, "I adore you Willie, I think you're amazing at what you do and I never would have gotten here if it weren't for you."

With that Marc stepped back from the mike and proceeded to walk to the seats until he heard Willie whisper his name. She stood up and gave her one of her rare Wilhelmina hugs and sat back down.


	3. Claire

As Marc sat down next to Amanda, Claire rose and quickly walked to the mike.

"Now that I can finally speak about this lovely robot sitting next to me without being rudely interrupted."

"Mom be nice" said Daniel

"No its okay Daniel, Claire I give you full permission to bash me as long as I get to do the same at your roast." Wilhelmina said smirking.

"Deal. Now that that is out of the way I would like to tell you guys about the real Wilhelmina Slater."

Claire begins to read through a notebook filled up with writing.

"Yes, she is the best in the business and yes, she is very beautiful but how do you think she got that way. She was tucked, plucked, and stuck with various needles and pins because there is no way she could have been born this beautiful without having something done to her."

Laughter is heard from Marc and Amanda.

"I know I'm supposed to be talking about how admired and loved Wilhelmina is but I would be lying. Just the other day she was on Fashion TV trashing someone's dreams and lives with just a few words. And speaking of Fashion TV, how long has she been on there anyway. I mean her face is like the problems in the Middle East an expensive mess that no one wants to see on TV every day."

Now Daniel is laughing along with Betty snickering.

Claire continues to flip through her notebook and starts to smile at something she reads.

"She couldn't even carry her own supposed child. I never knew someone that had a womb so hostile and dry like the Sahara Desert that it would reject a child. No wonder her daughter hates her. If I had to stay in a womb that dry I would hate my mother too."

"Could she ever have a successful relationship with any man? And no Marc you don't count. I mean Nico's father doesn't talk to her. That Ted LeBeau guy left her to go back to his wife. And let's not forget Connor Owens. Yes there were in love but he wanted to give her anything she wanted by stealing our money. Oh and I bet you guys remember that Bradford preferred a heart attack than to marry the devil herself."

"Wilhelmina Slater loves her job but does she love it more than love itself I can't say. But I do know that she is the ruthless and conniving and this is what dare I say it makes me respect her. But that's a tiny respect."

Claire takes her seat and Wilhelmina laughs and says "I can't wait till next year, Claire"


	4. Amanda

"If I go will I get fired?" asks Amanda.

"No Amanda just go." replies Willie

"Yay!" Amanda says as she pops up from her seat.

"As you know Wilhelmina worked with my mother the late great Fey Sommers who was murdered by Claire."

Claire groaned as Amanda continues.

"Wilhelmina has fierce fashion. I have seen her walk past the receptionist desk throughout the past years and I am always impressed with what she wears. She could even wear Betty's poncho and make it work."

Wilhelmina smirked and Betty just shook her head in embarrassment.

"She also has the kind of power that I totally wish to have. I mean people cower just hearing her heals clacking against the floors of this very building. I must say my mom taught her very well. If Wilhelmina ever wanted to write a book it should totally be about how she gained so much power and never lost it."

"She has had more comebacks in the last four years than any musical group has ever had. She knows how to get power and keep if. Now if only she had a man…"

"Mandy" hissed Marc as Willie started to raise her eyebrow and stare at Amanda.

"What I was trying to say was she should write a book about her power because just think how many women would buy her book just to find out her secret of how she became her powerful self. I mean Marc you could write her biography and make a killing."

"Wilhelmina is someone who you are glad to have around due to her witty charm and other times you'll want to avoid her like the plague because her firing you is like death itself."

Wilhelmina nods in appreciation as Amanda walked back to her seat.


	5. Betty

"Betty, Daniel who wants to go next" asks Marc.

Daniel shakes his head no and Betty sighs and reluctantly gets up from her seat.

As she approaches the mike she pushes her glasses up her nose and hears Wilhelmina sigh.

"Oh dear God, Daniel are you sure you don't want to go because I would be just fine not hearing her voice today." she says.

"Well now Wilhelmina I'm going to go just because you said that" replied Betty.

"When I first met Wilhelmina, I could tell that she took her work very seriously and thought that I could learn from her because she was successful."

"I soon learned that Wilhelmina is someone who I don't want to be associated with by any means. We all know that she tried and sometimes succeeded in bringing down Daniel every single day but I didn't like that…

"Because your a goody too shoes" interrupts Marc.

"Well anyway, continues Betty, I had fun foiling her plans even though she hated me for it. Working with Wilhelmina has taught me that nothing in life comes easy and you really have to work for anything in your life to achieve it."

"Why thank you Betty, I didn't know my life was a learning moment. Okay Daniel your turn" says Wilhelmina

"But I wasn't done Wilhelmina" says Betty

"Betty, here's another learning moment, when I say you're done you are done" enunciates Wilhelmina.


	6. Daniel

As Daniel slowly walks to the mike, Wilhelmina complains "Great we saved the worst for last."

"I always thought the song was called _Saved the Best for Last_" responds Daniel.

"Well I never really listened to Ms. Williams' songs Daniel, but can you just get on with your roast."

"Okay, well I didn't prepare anything today because I thought it was optional"

"You thought it was optional, I sent out an email and everything!" exclaimed Marc

"I even came to talk to you and discussed what I wanted to say and asked if you wanted to use any of my material" says Claire.

"Well Claire this is how he always is unprepared and not paying attention" Wilhelmina points out.

"Hey, I thought this was a roasting of Wilhelmina not me" shouts Daniel.

"Well get on with it" says Wilhelmina.

"Working with Wilhelmina the past four years has been interesting. Almost every day we argue and most of the time I wish I could tune her out but that's impossible due to her determination to get her way. She spent most of her time trying to push me out but I think that's the only thing she failed at obviously."

"We've had rare moments when we got along and it made our lives a lot less complicated. But when we do get along, I miss arguing with her because I enjoy it and I know that she enjoys it as well. Arguing aside, I must admit that Wilhelmina and I work like a well oiled machine and other times the machine has broke and no one knows how to fix it. We are a team even though we never admit it"

"It's also has been hard to me to admit this, but I think it's the right time to say it."

Everyone suddenly pays attention to what Daniel has to say. Even Wilhelmina is eager to hear what he has to say.

"Wilhelmina Slater is probably the greatest Editor in Chief in the magazine business."

After saying this he makes sure that he her full attention and continues

"She is the most respectable women I have ever known and everyone in fashion loves her. And it doesn't matter what age you are because you still got it even though you did have a Brazilian butt lift a few years ago. But you're still every man's dream and can probably have any man at any age"

"So happy birthday Willie, whatever your age is."

When he was done, Marc along with Amanda start to smile because they realize Daniel appreciates Willie. Both Betty and Claire are shocked and confused at what he just said.

After soaking everything in, Wilhelmina gets up from her chair and approaches the mike.

"I want to thank you guys for roasting and toasting me today. I enjoyed them all, some more than others. But I have one question.

Daniel you said I was every man's dream and since you are a man does that mean that I'm your dream?" she asked while smirking.

Everyone turned and faced Daniel but instead of answering he stood up and said

"You'll have to find out" and left.

Wilhelmina watches him leave as Claire looks on with a worried look on her face.


End file.
